Take your time with this one...

(Before reading this post, I would encourage you to go slow, and pause to consider and pray at any point that stands out to you throughout the text... much more of this is transcribed for God's heart than it is my own. My prayer is that you are blessed by what is said, and that His Word would truly not return void.)

Today while spending some much needed and greatly enjoyed time with Becca, I found a note I made in my phone about something God spoke to me.

Some time ago, too long now for me to recall the "when" or "where", God spoke to me regarding the wisdom and secret of marriage. I don't believe this is the whole of all God's wisdom and secrets of marriage, but it's definitely a core part of it, and in being married I can attest to it.

This is what I wrote:

"The Wisdom and Secret of marriage is this: to live in total and complete oneness together, fully engaged in the Spirit and Truth of God, consistently and continuously, every day.

Proverbs 5:15-19 

^'15Drink water from your own cistern,

   flowing water from your own well.
¹⁶ Should your springs be scattered abroad,
   streams of water in the streets?
¹⁷ Let them be for yourself alone,
   and not for strangers with you.
¹⁸ Let your fountain be blessed,
   and rejoice in the wife of your youth,
 ¹⁹a lovely deer, a graceful doe.
Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight;
   be intoxicated always in her love.'

^{John 4:13-14}

^'13 Jesus replied, “Anyone who drinks this water will soon become thirsty again. ¹⁴ But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life.'

 'Springs of water' is Christ, my intimate Savior, His Spirit and Life dwelling in me. And my wife is to share that with me; one flesh and spirit, the fullness of oneness as a living testimony of Christ and His Bride."

This reminder comes to me in a time that I really needed to hear it. Before I explain how, let me expound a bit on this piece of revelation as it has been shown to me today in hearing it once again.


The institution of Marriage is one of the most beautiful created gifts God has ever bestowed on mankind, outside of the gift of His Son, though the gift of Christ's Sacrifice for us, has everything to do with what marriage represents. Marriage is literally God's physical representation on earth of the reality of the spiritual relationship which we were created for, with Him. 

That's a loaded sentence, I know, but this is so often how revelation seems to work; complexity within simplicity: that's Jesus. And, that's marriage. 

Don't get me wrong here, I don't claim to be an expert on the matter, especially since I still have yet to celebrate my 1 year anniversary with my wife. But what I see more clearly every day in my life with Becca, is how very blessed we are in our marriage... and how very much wisdom God has bestowed to us within it. Maybe it's just me, but I see so much of the world around me, and the definition of intimacy between a man and a woman is just a shattered, twisted, broken, sad, shadow of what I feel I am experiencing with Becca on a daily basis. 
Sure people may say they are happy, but are they really? Or are they just comfortable? Settled for compromise? It is such a burden on my heart when I look at it. 

This is NOT what God intended for us! 

Admittedly, I am comfortable and compromise for my own comfort in my marriage; there are still places in my heart that are more interested in what's good for me, rather than what's best for us. My desire is not for this to be, but this introduces the things God has been touching on in my heart...

My goal, my aim, my aspiration in my marriage, is to be perfect. 

Now when I say perfect, I mean to be as Christ is for the Church, His bride, as is outlined in His Word, to my wife. Here's the problem though... I am not yet fully conformed into the image of Christ. I am in my spirit made whole and new, but am not yet there in my soul and flesh. 
Why? Because I have been born into sin, and into a world stained terribly by it, and because there is an Enemy who is seeking to destroy me, to utterly ruin me and separate me from that which what I was intended for: to be in a unified, unhindered relationship with God. And my Father, my King, My Savior and Friend, who has already paid the price for the sin which I was plunged into and already a part of when I arrived into this world, is contending for my soul and flesh to be made new as my spirit has. So there is war over my soul and flesh. 

My Creator is fighting for me to live and be lead by my spirit, with my soul and flesh submitted to it, and an enemy is fighting for me to live and be lead by my flesh, forcing my soul and spirit to submit to it.

I am in a state of being pulled at by darkness and Light from two opposite directions, and the only way for movement to occur in either direction, is to choose to yield to one or the other. 

In processing this, the Lord gave me a picture for an analogy:

Picture yourself being pulled by your hands by God in one direction, and by Satan in the other. Now visualize that as both are grasping a hand, that corresponding hand is grasping back the hand which has hold of it. The way to move in one direction or the other, is to CHOOSE to release your own hold from one or the other, tipping the scale of force to the opposite side.

We must choose to follow the path we were meant to take, or the path that leads us ultimately to our demise and destruction.

Keeping all this in mind, consider this... How can I be given my own individual spirit by God, and yet His own omnipresent Spirit dwells in me too?  When our spirit is "awakened" or "born again", whatever term you like; when the Spirit of Christ come upon us in accepting His love and forgiveness shown and proven by His sacrifice, our spirit becomes married to His. 

As the covenant of marriage consists of two persons coming together to become "one flesh", so our spirit becomes one with the Spirit of Christ living in us.

So how is this relevant to my life and marriage in it's current state? Well, as Becca and I are called to be a living testimony of Christ and His Bride as a couple joined in the covenant of marriage, it is clear that we must in turn have a right relationship with Christ as His Bride in order to maintain and achieve that calling and goal. 


Doing this, is often the most challenging thing in the world to me. Marriage is not easy, anyone who is or has been knows this. There's no longer just you to worry about anymore, now it's a whole other person (or persons when the baby comes along...), and you care insanely more about them and their well-being than you do about your own. Life gets busy and filled with things to do and worry about really REALLY fast. And in the midst of it, you recognize that somehow, you are supposed to be maintaining a healthy relationship with Jesus! HOW?! I know I am not alone here. 
It is all too easy to get caught up in the details and fly through a day barely having the time to blink and often... you don't even THINK about spending some time with the Lord. There's a part of me that feels pretty guilty about this, I could do so much better, I SHOULD be doing better! 

And yet, there is that beautiful sweet comfort and knowing in my spirit that knows... His grace and love is so very sufficient. 

Specifically applied to where I am at presently in life, with the Lord, with my marriage, etc... I have struggled to keep an attitude in line with who God has made me to be. This is the war that I spoke of earlier, raging inside my soul. 

When I am in confidence of the man that God has created and called me to be, I am confident to be the best husband and father for my wife and baby girl. But, when I doubt that identity, or second guess my ability, there is where I feel all hell (literally) breaking loose. It is then, when I choose to doubt God in the person He has said I am, that I give way to the pulling of the enemy, and the tides are turned. The tides are turned again when I choose to hear the Lord calling me back, and on and on it goes... 

I'm sure my soul could accurately be depicted as a whirlpool. 

So again, it's times in life like this that I so desperately need some deep revelation from God, no matter how it comes about or in what form, to pull me out from the dizzying spin of the battle inside. It will always be a progression, and there will always be seasons of trail and difficulty, but I know in my heart of hearts that so long as I continue to choose Jesus and to do my best, the direction I will be traveling in throughout my life will be the one I was meant for. 

It goes without saying that Becca is not just my companion for the journey, but a pillar of strength, encouragement, motivation, and support to run the race well, fight the good fight, and to never give up. 

Praise be to God for His undying Love and desire for our hearts, and for the incredible beloved ones He brings alongside us to help us along the way.