Birth Video - Kaenan James

Long time, can't see...

Wow. Seriously? I know it's been a while since I last posted anything, but August? Man. Hopefully any who have periodically checked in on me here haven't checked out, assuming I fell off the earth.

I do care to keep those who care about me informed about my life. That being said, to anyone who might actually follow this, my sincere apologies. I know if it was me I might have started to wonder... Anyways. How about I bring things to current, eh?

Yeah...we got a swagger wagon.

Just after the last post I wrote actually, we found that Becca is again pregnant!! I couldn't be more excited about it, and neither could she. It was definitely a surprise, as was Alizah,

 and this time... we are having a SON!! I can't wait to meet him!

Since August: well there is definitely too much to write down, and honestly too much to remember. It's been insane. Literally. Becca actually took Alizah and went to see my family in Utah in September for a week. That was the longest I have ever been away from my girls since I married Becca. It was just me and the dog. We survived it though.

We made it through the holidays pretty well, had happy visits with family. It is so much fun seeing my Doodle grow and learn, and Becca is such an amazing Mommy.

 I love just being able to hang with them; I treasure every moment.  

We are ironically now in a very similar place to where we were last year; needing to move and grow, and yet facing a lot of opposition and hardship in making that happen. I will spare you the details, but regardless, it has been an uphill battle on a steeper incline than last year.

...by His grace at least we're not sliding backwards. 

That is something that has been one of the best and hardest parts of our lives as of late. Our son is fine, but Becca has been diagnosed with a cervix condition called funneling. Basically her cervix has begun shortening too much, too fast, and this puts her at high risk for pre-term labor. As a result there has been a lot of juggling and struggling to accommodate the extra needs Becca has had, mainly needing extra hands with Alizah as she has been instructed to be on bed rest the remainder of the pregnancy to avoid raising the risk for early labor.

We have been blessed to have very supportive friends and family in all this, and even my job has been supportive and helpful. Most of all, Becca has been absolutely incredible. Just when life with her gets done revealing how much more amazing she is than I thought, it happens again.

She is the strongest person I know. 

Sure, I'm baist because she is my wife, but all of that aside she really is incredible. She is real and she is passionate and she is selfless in the midst of all that she is fighting against... and she is worthy of all the love and praise and and admiration in the world..

                   It's crazy...

    in all that life has thrown against us,

  I only fall more in love with her

  as she bares down by my side through it all.

So it's been a roller-coaster of months that have passed us by... and honestly I feel like there have been more downs that ups... but it's the ups that make the difference. Even if there's a brief light in the tunnel before plunging down into darkness again, or a moment to take in air before being sucked back down again beneath the waves... there's the glimmer of Hope.

Hope in a growing family.

Hope in a new life that is overcoming odds in his mommy's womb. 

Hope in a wonderful family that pours out empathy and compassion.

Hope in a Jesus who has already written tomorrow.

I'm not saying that despite the hard times we are in now I have the ability to see the light and feel confident that everything is going to be okay, but I am saying that even though it has become harder than it's ever been, I have experienced Hope; I have glimpsed the Light.

The fact that I am still here, in my right mind and right heart, testifies to the grace that He brings when we choose to hope in Him. I pray that somehow sharing this inspires Hope, when it's needed most... because there really is Hope to find that will get you by...

This is a song that really resonates with my heart here, unfortunately its the only one I could find to share. Don't worry about watching, just listen... enjoy!

Turning a new leaf...

Hello world! 

Yes... I'm still alive and kicking.

It's been a while, I know. I have been busier than ever living and loving with my incredible wife and sweet baby girl (who is 4 months old now if you can believe it...!!), and we're busier than ever. 

This is a short post, more of an update on a new thing for me rather than a life story update... I have been dreaming for years upon years, ever since I began songwriting, of pursuing a way to bring my music to the world in a way that will share the message and blessing God has given me through this gift.I am beginning something new in the midst of my husband/father/full time worker life in this by sharing live recordings of some of my songs.

I have a desire to see this grow from what it is now, that the scale of those who can be touched would increase... but honestly it doesn't matter if it never becomes a "big thing" in he eyes of the world. I have such a passion for music and worshiping Jesus through it, and just want my gift to not be limited to just me. 

So... all that said, I have begun working on some very simple, very raw recordings of songs i have written that will be uploaded to my YouTube page linked in my "Compositions" page. My hope in this is that people would simply be blessed. 

It's not about me, it's about Him and I want to use what He has given me to show that. So, be blessed as I roll this thing out, and may He be given all the glory!

"Daddy-versary"

This past Sunday was a day I will never forget. For the first time ever, and perhaps the only time in my life, my wedding anniversary and Father's Day fell on the same day! I will not remember it for the disappointing fact that it was the day I began my first day of my new 10 hour shift at my new job, but rather what happened despite that hindering reality for Becca and I.

It's amazing how God uses undesirable circumstances to show you love. 

How better could a Father show love to his kids than by presenting them with incredibly challenging circumstances, extending the grace and aid necessary for them to overcome it, but only to the extent that they really actually need? By allowing His children to learn from experience that they have what it takes, to understand what truly matters ...and what does not, He is truly being what a Father is supposed to be, and truly loving as only a Father can. 

And, how better for a Husband to reveal love for His bride than to sacrifice Himself for her sake, and to present her with the very best, and nothing short, regardless of any present circumstances at any given moment? By laying His life down for the benefit and gain of one He loves, with no benefit or gain for Himself, and to be consistent in this, He is being the perfect Beloved.

This is what God revealed to my heart for the first part of my "daddy-versary". Being at work all day was the very last thing I wanted to be doing on this very special day. It was so hard. But here's the grace that was extended to me: It was the slowest day I have had yet at work, allowing for plenty of time to focus on what God was imparting to my heart. I have never been in the receiving end of an anniversary OR a Father's Day, but in finding myself in both at once, I realized that it's nothing like a birthday or a graduation or any other type of celebration of recognition.

"Two are better than one, 

because they have a good return for their work.

If one falls down, his friend can help him up,

but pity the man who falls

and has no one to help him up."

-Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

As a husband, my anniversary was about honoring, blessing, and serving my wife. I knew that before, but the issue in my heart and mind became this:

"How can I honor, bless, and serve my wife, if I am stuck for the greater part of this whole day at WORK without HER!?!?" 

And in that very place, God revealed the answer... Lay my life down for her. Rise above the hardships presented. Take on the responsibility needed to provide and protect her. Show her selfless love in consistency... by working. Because giving, doing, and being my best, even in the job that God has provided me with to take care of my family's needs, is loving my wife. My heart is convinced that my incredible wife deserves the world on a golden platter; a life with no worries, cares, or hardships, and every one of her needs and wants met at every moment. I would have loved to have had a day with Becca, all to ourselves, free to do as we wished; free to show her in the best way I could that she is my whole world, and that she alone holds my heart captive.  But God gently presented to my heart in that very difficult position, that in fact I was NOT failing my beloved, because I was loving her like He loves us; I was fulfilling the role of Husband as He has designed it to be, and there is no better way to be a husband that His way.

"Though one may be overpowered,

two can defend themselves.

A cord of three strands is not easily broken."

-Ecclesiastes 4:12

As a father, how this day was supposed to be for me was a little more difficult to anticipate. My closest idea or expectation was something like birthday without a party or cake; pleasant wishes for a happy day, and some congratulations for my new-found role in life. There surely was that for me, and I am so grateful to have received every word and wish, but I was just as moved to realize how much more there is to it as I was to receive all I did in regards to my first anniversary.

Much like my profound revelation of what the role of being a husband for my wife is, the role of being a father for my daughter has so much more to do with me laying down my life and giving my best in all things and in all circumstances, than it does with any potential gain or benefit to me.

To me, my baby girl deserves the world and more; to be given the best of everything for her whole life, and I want to be a major part of giving her all of that because of how I love her so. By laying down for her my time, my kisses and cuddles, my words of adoration... to ensure her future as best I may, I realized that being her father in this way was being exactly the father that I want to be: a Father as is defined by God. 

By no means do I claim to myself be as good a Husband as God, nor as good of a Father as He is. What I am saying is this:

...by His grace, I am learning what it is to align myself with the model of Husbandhood and Fatherhood that He has set for me. 

I am forever a work in progress in this world, and yet I have already been given all I need to fulfill the purposes God has set before me and called me to in any and every situation.

 

When I got home after work that day, I found my beloved doing the same as what God had shown me I had been doing: living in that alignment of the model set before her in the roles of Wife and Mother. While she had juggled a fussy baby and a hyperactive puppy for the last 10 hours, she had also cleaned the house, made dinner in the perfect timing so as to have it done exactly as I arrived home, and taken the time to dress up... all for me.

Wow. 

What a woman! Beyond that, she had managed to take the time to create a beautiful gift for me. I was beside myself for her...

And so the second reason that I will never forget last Sunday for the rest of my life: Becca.

Once again she had proved to me in love, that I am the best man in all the world to her, and that I am hers, and she is mine. Words won't do her justice, but I am forever grateful for her love and devotion, and every day she gives me more. She is my beloved, my best friend, my most precious treasure, and my honor is to live every moment vowed as husband to her, and as father to her children. 

Here's to you baby, I love you even if... no matter what.

Take your time with this one...

(Before reading this post, I would encourage you to go slow, and pause to consider and pray at any point that stands out to you throughout the text... much more of this is transcribed for God's heart than it is my own. My prayer is that you are blessed by what is said, and that His Word would truly not return void.)

Today while spending some much needed and greatly enjoyed time with Becca, I found a note I made in my phone about something God spoke to me.

Some time ago, too long now for me to recall the "when" or "where", God spoke to me regarding the wisdom and secret of marriage. I don't believe this is the whole of all God's wisdom and secrets of marriage, but it's definitely a core part of it, and in being married I can attest to it.

This is what I wrote:

"The Wisdom and Secret of marriage is this: to live in total and complete oneness together, fully engaged in the Spirit and Truth of God, consistently and continuously, every day.

Proverbs 5:15-19 

^'15Drink water from your own cistern,

   flowing water from your own well.
¹⁶ Should your springs be scattered abroad,
   streams of water in the streets?
¹⁷ Let them be for yourself alone,
   and not for strangers with you.
¹⁸ Let your fountain be blessed,
   and rejoice in the wife of your youth,
 ¹⁹a lovely deer, a graceful doe.
Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight;
   be intoxicated always in her love.'

^{John 4:13-14}

^'13 Jesus replied, “Anyone who drinks this water will soon become thirsty again. ¹⁴ But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life.'

 'Springs of water' is Christ, my intimate Savior, His Spirit and Life dwelling in me. And my wife is to share that with me; one flesh and spirit, the fullness of oneness as a living testimony of Christ and His Bride."

This reminder comes to me in a time that I really needed to hear it. Before I explain how, let me expound a bit on this piece of revelation as it has been shown to me today in hearing it once again.


The institution of Marriage is one of the most beautiful created gifts God has ever bestowed on mankind, outside of the gift of His Son, though the gift of Christ's Sacrifice for us, has everything to do with what marriage represents. Marriage is literally God's physical representation on earth of the reality of the spiritual relationship which we were created for, with Him. 

That's a loaded sentence, I know, but this is so often how revelation seems to work; complexity within simplicity: that's Jesus. And, that's marriage. 

Don't get me wrong here, I don't claim to be an expert on the matter, especially since I still have yet to celebrate my 1 year anniversary with my wife. But what I see more clearly every day in my life with Becca, is how very blessed we are in our marriage... and how very much wisdom God has bestowed to us within it. Maybe it's just me, but I see so much of the world around me, and the definition of intimacy between a man and a woman is just a shattered, twisted, broken, sad, shadow of what I feel I am experiencing with Becca on a daily basis. 
Sure people may say they are happy, but are they really? Or are they just comfortable? Settled for compromise? It is such a burden on my heart when I look at it. 

This is NOT what God intended for us! 

Admittedly, I am comfortable and compromise for my own comfort in my marriage; there are still places in my heart that are more interested in what's good for me, rather than what's best for us. My desire is not for this to be, but this introduces the things God has been touching on in my heart...

My goal, my aim, my aspiration in my marriage, is to be perfect. 

Now when I say perfect, I mean to be as Christ is for the Church, His bride, as is outlined in His Word, to my wife. Here's the problem though... I am not yet fully conformed into the image of Christ. I am in my spirit made whole and new, but am not yet there in my soul and flesh. 
Why? Because I have been born into sin, and into a world stained terribly by it, and because there is an Enemy who is seeking to destroy me, to utterly ruin me and separate me from that which what I was intended for: to be in a unified, unhindered relationship with God. And my Father, my King, My Savior and Friend, who has already paid the price for the sin which I was plunged into and already a part of when I arrived into this world, is contending for my soul and flesh to be made new as my spirit has. So there is war over my soul and flesh. 

My Creator is fighting for me to live and be lead by my spirit, with my soul and flesh submitted to it, and an enemy is fighting for me to live and be lead by my flesh, forcing my soul and spirit to submit to it.

I am in a state of being pulled at by darkness and Light from two opposite directions, and the only way for movement to occur in either direction, is to choose to yield to one or the other. 

In processing this, the Lord gave me a picture for an analogy:

Picture yourself being pulled by your hands by God in one direction, and by Satan in the other. Now visualize that as both are grasping a hand, that corresponding hand is grasping back the hand which has hold of it. The way to move in one direction or the other, is to CHOOSE to release your own hold from one or the other, tipping the scale of force to the opposite side.

We must choose to follow the path we were meant to take, or the path that leads us ultimately to our demise and destruction.

Keeping all this in mind, consider this... How can I be given my own individual spirit by God, and yet His own omnipresent Spirit dwells in me too?  When our spirit is "awakened" or "born again", whatever term you like; when the Spirit of Christ come upon us in accepting His love and forgiveness shown and proven by His sacrifice, our spirit becomes married to His. 

As the covenant of marriage consists of two persons coming together to become "one flesh", so our spirit becomes one with the Spirit of Christ living in us.

So how is this relevant to my life and marriage in it's current state? Well, as Becca and I are called to be a living testimony of Christ and His Bride as a couple joined in the covenant of marriage, it is clear that we must in turn have a right relationship with Christ as His Bride in order to maintain and achieve that calling and goal. 


Doing this, is often the most challenging thing in the world to me. Marriage is not easy, anyone who is or has been knows this. There's no longer just you to worry about anymore, now it's a whole other person (or persons when the baby comes along...), and you care insanely more about them and their well-being than you do about your own. Life gets busy and filled with things to do and worry about really REALLY fast. And in the midst of it, you recognize that somehow, you are supposed to be maintaining a healthy relationship with Jesus! HOW?! I know I am not alone here. 
It is all too easy to get caught up in the details and fly through a day barely having the time to blink and often... you don't even THINK about spending some time with the Lord. There's a part of me that feels pretty guilty about this, I could do so much better, I SHOULD be doing better! 

And yet, there is that beautiful sweet comfort and knowing in my spirit that knows... His grace and love is so very sufficient. 

Specifically applied to where I am at presently in life, with the Lord, with my marriage, etc... I have struggled to keep an attitude in line with who God has made me to be. This is the war that I spoke of earlier, raging inside my soul. 

When I am in confidence of the man that God has created and called me to be, I am confident to be the best husband and father for my wife and baby girl. But, when I doubt that identity, or second guess my ability, there is where I feel all hell (literally) breaking loose. It is then, when I choose to doubt God in the person He has said I am, that I give way to the pulling of the enemy, and the tides are turned. The tides are turned again when I choose to hear the Lord calling me back, and on and on it goes... 

I'm sure my soul could accurately be depicted as a whirlpool. 

So again, it's times in life like this that I so desperately need some deep revelation from God, no matter how it comes about or in what form, to pull me out from the dizzying spin of the battle inside. It will always be a progression, and there will always be seasons of trail and difficulty, but I know in my heart of hearts that so long as I continue to choose Jesus and to do my best, the direction I will be traveling in throughout my life will be the one I was meant for. 

It goes without saying that Becca is not just my companion for the journey, but a pillar of strength, encouragement, motivation, and support to run the race well, fight the good fight, and to never give up. 

Praise be to God for His undying Love and desire for our hearts, and for the incredible beloved ones He brings alongside us to help us along the way.

The Cookie is done!

SHE HAS ARRIVED!!

Alizah Katherine Cook 

came into this big new world,

April 21st, 

 at 5:08pm. 

Weighing 5lbs, 14oz., and measuring 17 1/4 inches long, 

she was delivered perfect and whole,

and we have not stopped rejoicing!

On the 20th, Becca had her last scheduled OB appointment at 2:30pm, while I was at work. I was so anxious ALL DAY. More than usual, as I had been super anxious since the fist sign of labor almost 3 weeks prior. After Becca told me on my break how the midwife had again swept her membranes (and thoroughly too), and was told that should she experience any more contractions, that we should pack up and head in.

  

I'm convinced she went into early labor 

around 3pm.

 By my 7pm break at work, Becca was in enough discomfort, and I in enough concern, that I came home. 

Something was different about this time, and I knew my beloved needed me.

About 5 hours later, Becca and I were ready to take the plunge. With Family in NC on standby to come at our word, and family in Utah on standby to hear any progress, we made our call to the midwife and drove to the hospital.

We arrived at 12am. 

We were in the triage area for all of about 10 minutes. The midwife came in before any nurse saw us, did a quick exam and ANOTHER membrane sweep (my poor wife!), and had us transferred to the labor and delivery room. Becca was hooked up to the fetal monitor and the wait began 

...at 5cm and 90% effacement.

We waited out the night until family from NC arrived around 5:30am. Soon after, I ran home to check on our pup as she had spent the night home alone for her first time, and we were concerned how she might be holding up.

After I returned they decided to start Becca on Petocin to help the labor speed up a bit. About 4 hours later she started really feeling the contractions. I did another doggie run when Becca's mom called me back, Becca needed me there because of the pain she was feeling. I raced back as quickly (and as legally) as I could manage. 

Checking in on the dog during all this had me torn in my heart; I wanted to be by my wife's side every moment, but from the get-go, I decided to put her feelings first, and making sure the puppy was ok while we were away brought her peace of mind and comfort. 

Looking at it that way made it a lot easier, thank God I was given the grace to maintain that mindset.

After a few hours of severe pain from the intensified contractions, Becca was ready to get an epidural. We had planned on this being a part of the labor, but what happened afterward was the furthest thing from what we expected.

Not long after the anesthesiologist administered the IV, Becca began to feel her right arm and the right side of her chest go numb. Before the nurse could figure out what exactly was happening, the numbing spread up her neck and face.

She literally was being paralyzed.

Watching her and hearing her try to explain what was happening, I could see her struggling to think and speak clearly. 

I freaked. 

My heart went instantly through a million scenarios, trying to reason the fear, which, my heart was quickly becoming consumed with, away. 

The nurse put Becca on oxygen, and seeing that did NOT help. Moments later, two anesthesiologists and came in with the nurse, and at least 3 others had come to the ready at the door only moments after. They quickly assessed Becca's condition, then turned off the epidural pump. They explained that what had happened was a combination of a dose that was too high, and Becca's natural nervous system block which was stronger on her left side than her right. The dosage prescribed is based off one's height, but sometimes, the epidural gap between the vertebra is shallower than "normal". By letting the epidural wear off and starting it again on the lower dosage, she should be fine.

We are still thanking God for such excellent staff at the hospital.

I don't dare to consider what could have happened.

Finally, Becca had some peace. She was able to enjoy  the rest of laboring until the time arrived.

At the epidural, the midwife checked Becca to find she had only dilated another centimeter. Now we were at 6, after all night and morning. However, after a handful of afternoon hours passed by, Becca was checked again, and was at 9! By 3pm, she was told she was ready to push!

The midwife and nurse on duty were amazing. They helped us both to get the job done right. I held a leg for Becca (though perhaps not as expertly as the nurse holding the other leg...) while managing to take some pictures and video of the experience. My wife was incredible. I have never been more proud of her, seriously. And watching her deliver my sweet angel of a daughter into this world was unlike anything I have ever experienced;

It was the most beautiful, amazing, glorifying thing I have ever witnessed.

After Alizah's head cleared the birth canal, the rest of her came quickly after. So quick, in fact, that I nearly jumped! All that pushing and slow but sure progression... trying to get an idea of how big she was and what she looked like as she came nearer and nearer... and then, there she was! And much bigger than I was guessing too (even though she is just a petite little thing). Then it was all a flood of emotion.

I wanted to sob and dance and laugh and shout, all at once...

I was more awestruck than I ever have been at this beautiful little life than was a part of me and a part of my life now.

Alizah was placed on Becca's chest, and it was love. We both just melted at her cry and her perfect little self. Eyes open and seeing mommy and daddy for the first time, sweet little cries and beautiful little hands and feet... and what a gorgeous kid! I am sure that I'm being byist, but I have never seen a more beautiful baby! 

I count myself so so blessed for this little one.

The nurse took Alizah after cleaning her up and giving her some Mommy/Daddy moments, and began teaching me how to handle her, clean her, etc. She had her little feet stamped and her hospital bands put on. Then we took her back and Mommy fed her for the first time, and she took to Becca immediately. After a meal, we weighed her and measured her; 5lbs, 14oz. and 17.25 in. long, and totally perfect!!

Then it was time for Daddy and Baby to go to the nursery. I pushed her downin her cart, and parked her next to another baby, right in one of the windows. As we did the PK test, reaction tests, etc., several spectators showed up in the window, including a few total strangers. Alizah was too sweet to ignore!. One of her tests was to be placed on her tummy, and she started trying to crawl! She may be little, but she's strong (just like her Momma)!!

I also had the privilege of getting a tutorial with the baby next to Alizah for her first bath, so I gave her her very first bath all on my own.

My first real experience of being totally responsible for my little girls well being. 

I was amazed how calm I was with the whole thing, with all of it. I wasn't afraid at all, or anxious even. In fact, Becca and I both had an enormous amount of peace all through the whole labor and delivery. 

God was truly with us. 

About 9pm I finally made it to our postpartum room, and we said our good-nights to family by 10:30. Just as we were about to settle in, we got a surprise visit from a good friend, so we visited a bit more until around 11:30. Finally, we were able to call it a night, our first night together as a family. We were too exhausted to hardly even talk. 

After a bit of a rough night, we shared breakfast and managed to share our hearts and experiences between all manner of nurses, housekeeping staff, and photographers. It was a bit overwhelming to have someone popping in and out of our room at no less than half hour intervals all day, so by the time we were discharged, we were very ready.

I spent the night before discharge at home, as our family had returned to NC earlier that afternoon, and as preparation for Becca's first night home, hopefully to one more restful than the several prior nights.


Early the next morning I came back to hospital to find my sweet girls ready and waiting. We shared breakfast and prepared to take baby Alizah home! The discharge process was a bit long, due to lots happening the postpartum wing, but we finally made our way out by 1:45pm or so. Driving home with Becca and Alizah in the back seat was so surreal...

The surreality has yet to wear off... all I know is that I am more happy than I have ever been. Ever. 

So now we are home sweet home, a beautiful new family, making our new way in the world. Full of joy and praise to our Jesus for ALL He has given us, we carry on with hearts and heads held high. 

Here's to the wonderful new adventure parenthood is certain to be...

Sitting, Waiting, Wishing...

SO... Things in my world have been a little more exciting than normal the past few days! Becca found out she was 3cm dilated as of Wednesday! Her full story about that is here.

So many emotions have been running through me I have hardly been able to keep up. It literally has taken effect on my body, I'm so out of whack. Never have I felt so many things at once!

I don't think my male biological makeup was originally designed to compute so much all at once... got a couple fuses blowing at this point, but I'm holding!

Yesterday Becca began having cramping and contractions from about 4:45am on. So by 12:45pm we decided to call the OB and get some wisdom. After all, we haven't exactly done this before... ALL the doctors were out of the office in L&D doing deliveries... so we were advised to go to the hospital! We packed our bags while the rain began to pour in buckets, and arrived at the hospital about 10 minutes later. Before checking in, we made a pit stop at the bathroom, and Becca came out with more news... the mucus plug came out. Ok. Breathe. This is happening NOW?! Alizah is almost 3 weeks early!

Here we go...

We checked in, and for some mysterious reason the receptionist recognized Rebecca's name... apparently someone other than our immediate family had been given some heads up??? Turns out after deciding NOT going into work due to the series of events unfolding before us, my co-workers had been trying to find out what was up! Because it's a new job and there's a roomful of new acquaintances, nobody actually had my number, and all managerial staff who did have my number were not authorized to solicit it. Until I found all this out later, we were both quite puzzled by who the mystery caller to the hospital was.

So upon arrival in L&D, we were placed in a waiting room.

"Yes, hi. My wife is in labor, we need to be seen." 

 "Ok sir, all our rooms are FULL and we'll have to seat you here until we can find space for you."

What?! Didn't expect that one... great. Ok, no problem. Relax. Surely we'll be accommodated soon. Is Becca ok? How can I comfort you and help? Don't talk to you or touch you? Ok. I can try and do that. Where is the nurse? There's another 2 pregnant women in here too?! Oh boy...

Such is my brain, whilst my beloved is totally focused on relaxing and working through the discomfort and pain.

20 minutes later, we are placed in a L&D room with spare equipment and a scatter brained nurse. She was sweet, but it was obvious she was a bit overwhelmed. After a little trial and error, she got Becca hooked up to a monitor and the imminent waiting game began.

I need to mention here my first experience in assisting someone dress in a hospital gown...

Have you seen these things? It's a funky shaped sheet with snap buttons and strings tied on... and no instruction manual! It's Macgyver time folks. On a time crunch too, because the subject in question is your beautiful, wonderful, uncomfortable and VERY pregnant wife... and the nurse is due to walk back in at any given second.

Needless to say, though it was not a first attempt success, mission accomplished.

So after a 30 second meeting of our doctor for the day who was in a flurry of OR getup, since our OB was out of town... more waiting. It was a cool thing being there, seeing Becca in that bed and seeing the monitor with Alizah's heartbeat... Surreal, but a precious beginning moment in the adventure of our first labor and birth.
The doctor came back in after a C-section and surely on her way to another, and checked out Becca.

3cm and 70% effaced. 

She then advised us to head home, as Becca had not progressed much and they were obviously very busy.

That was discouraging. We'd gotten really excited that it was happening now... but we're still getting somewhere! So we've had a lovely day today being out and about and helping get that baby to come ASAP! Lot's of love and support from our family and friends, we're very blessed and very excited to meet our little one!

More to come, both in words and family members!!